Advice for My Younger Self

Advice for My Younger Self

Advice for My Younger Self

 

Ever wish you could go back in time and tell your younger self some of the wisdom and knowledge you’ve gained over the years? I do. These are a few things I wish I could go back and let younger me know.

Updated: 12/15/2019


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Advice for My Younger Self

 

Ask for Help

I started showing signs of anxiety and depression as young as 10 years old, but didn’t get any kind of professional help until the summer after my freshman year of college. That’s almost 10 years of battling mental illness on my own. If I had asked for help earlier and more persistently, I may have had a better time in high school and my first year of college. 

There’s nothing wrong with asking for help, but sometimes you don’t know how or that you should. Especially as a young child. I showed so many outward signs of having issues, but my parents either ignored it or denied it, hurting me more in the long run.

I’m currently 30 and have been on medication for about a decade now. It’s a trial and error of finding the right kinds at the right time. But I’m no longer suicidal, or stuck in a deep pit of despair, unable to function as a human being. Getting the help I needed, and most importantly, finding the correct doctors and therapists for me has helped my tremendously. If one of your medical professionals doesn’t seem to fit you, it’s more than okay to find a new one. I might even have to find a new psychiatrist after 4-5 years of seeing her because things aren’t exactly working out anymore.

Related: 8 Things to Do When Depression Hits

 

Get out of that Relationship

I was in a very manipulative relationship when I was in high school. It was the first time anyone had shown interest in me, and with the lack of attention I got at home, I clung to this guy for dear life. Unfortunately, he was manipulative, got verbally abusive when we argued, and it was overall not a healthy relationship.

We broke up multiple times over the 2 year period we “dated”. We also went on countless breaks due to him wanting to see if he had a chance with someone else. I was so distraught over that, and had so little self worth that I let it happen. I lost a good friend over the inability to pull myself out, while still venting about our issues.

While it sucked back then, I never want to find myself in that situation again. I know what kind of people I’m interested in, and what traits to avoid when looking for a partner. Thankfully I have one now that is 1000x better and I couldn’t be happier. 

Toxic relationships are hard to get yourself out of, and even with the blaring red flag of someone I considered my best friend at the time telling me it wasn’t a good idea and to get out and stop the cycle, I just couldn’t because my self esteem was so low.

Related: Are Your Relationships Toxic? An Introduction to Toxic Relationships

Talk About your Eating Disorder

Around the time the depression started, so did an eating disorder. It was from a mixture of body image issues, and being scared to go downstairs to get food whenever my parents were arguing. I learned to ignore the hunger pains.

This problem stuck with me through high school and after. College was where I was finally on my own, so I figured I could start over, right? Yeah, it’s very common for people with eating disorders to move towards restricted eating to justify the lack of food. That’s exactly what I did. I went mostly vegetarian for my freshman year.

Currently I still struggle with eating. Eating in front of new people still makes me uncomfortable. I tend to pick at things and prefer snacks over full meals, which actually is how I gained 30lbs since starting my office job almost 4 years ago. It’s getting better, but it’s still a daily struggle.

I wrote a post about all about how I went from restricting and borderline anorexia to binging and overeating.

Related: Battling an Eating Disorder: From Restricting to Binging

 

Your Drinking WILL Become a Problem

Something I didn’t address until years after college was my drinking. I never was one to drink daily, so I never assumed I had a problem. I’d binge like every other American college/post-college student did every weekend. It could be considered a problem at that time, but it wasn’t out of the ordinary.

It wasn’t until a traumatic event that happened in 2014 that caused me to finally quit drinking for good. I had tried to quit in the past, but it never stuck. My heart wasn’t entirely in it. I knew it was a good thing for me, and I at least consciously wanted to change, but I couldn’t. 

Having to hit the absolute rock bottom hurt on so many levels, but it ultimately lead to the best thing to happen to me: my sobriety. 

I have currently been sober for over 5 years now, and it’s still the best thing that’s happened to me. I had some friends come up to me after they found out I had been sober for a few years that they were happy because they could see how alcohol was effecting me when I drank.

Related: How to Know When Your Weekend Benders have Become Problematic

Keep Going

Life is hard, but it’s no excuse for giving up. Keep going. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, but here I am trying to figure it out while blogging away about my life. I have a job I’m relatively content with that pays decently well. I’m in a situation where I have the time to not worry about surviving and start worrying about living.

I don’t know what the future holds, I barely know what I’m doing in the present, but I know I can’t just give up on things because I’ve reached a hard spot or detour.

Right now I’m closing in on 2 years of blogging here, and I have such grand plans for the new year! I can’t wait to self host, to have a newsletter, and to publish the ebooks I have swirling around in my mind.

Related: Blog Goals for 2020

 

Ever wish you could go back in time and tell your younger self some of the wisdom and knowledge you’ve gained over the years? I do. These are a few things I wish I could go back and let younger me know. #lifeadvice #life #advice #personaldevelopment

 

TL;DR

  • Get help if you need it. There’s no point suffering just because. If you can’t or you’re under age and your parents won’t let you, talk to someone outside your home for help.
  • Relationships can become toxic, especially at a young age. No one knows what they’re doing in their first relationship and it’s a prime time for things to go downhill. If you or someone you know is in a toxic or abusive relationship, try to get you or them help.
  • Eating disorders are no joke. The effects that they have on you will last a lifetime. I’m still dealing with things that started when I was 15.
  • If you notice a problem with your drinking, it probably already is a problem. Get help, ask friends if they think you’re out of control, take the various online quizzes that can tell you if you might need help.
  • Keep going. Through all the pain and problems and everything else, just keep going. Good things will happen. You will make it. You’re amazing.

 

These are just a few things that I wish I could tell my younger self. Do any of this things resonate with you? Do you have anything you want to tell your younger self?

 

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XO

 

 

This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. Honeybee Joyous

    I love this open + honest post. So many of these things spoke to me really deeply as well, even though my life was quite different from yours when we were younger. Thank you so much for sharing, this meant a lot to read.

    1. Thanks for reading! I’m always trying to help out others, even if that means getting super serious if I have to. Glad you enjoyed it!

  2. Inspirational. I also suffered through depression at the age of 12/13 and it lasted 4 years. I would tell my youngest self that everything is ok, everything is normal and that thanks to this I will become someone strong and with different views on the world.

    And yes: keep going.

    1. Thanks. I’m glad you’re doing better as well. It’s such a terrible thing to struggle with especially when you have no idea what’s really going on.

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