Why It’s Okay to Embrace Your Feminine Side When You’ve Always Been a Tomboy

Why It’s Okay to Embrace Your Feminine Side When You’ve Always Been a Tomboy

Why It's Okay to Embrace Your Feminine Side When You've Always Been a Tomboy

I was always a tomboy growing up. I hated dresses and having to dress up. I’m not really sure why I hated dresses at the time, I guess I just really preferred pants and being able to run around freely without fear of my dress flying up.

Anyway, I’m now almost 30 and my views on femininity and more traditionally girly things has changed. I’m more apt to things that are pink and frilly (on occasion), I’ve recently discovered my love of glitter and glittery things, especially eyeshadow.

So what happens when you’ve always been a pants and t-shirt kinda gal and years, even decades later, you’ve decided that maybe dresses and skirts aren’t so bad after all? Now that you have an office job, dressing up every now and again doesn’t sound so bad. 

People Change

People Change. That’s the biggest thing you need to remember yourself, is that people can and are very much allowed to change. Sometimes you need to remind that to other people too.

Just like the Hollywood stereotype of the ugly duckling growing up to be a beautiful swan, people are very rarely the same throughout their whole life. I doubt many people are exactly the same as they were when they were children, or even a young adult.

As we grow our experiences shape the way we grow and view the world. I’m not even the same person I was in college. I’ve definitely grown and changed since then.

Related: 6 Things I Wish I Did Differently in High School


Stay True to Yourself

This is something I have a hard time doing, but that’s because there are so many sides to me that I don’t know which to follow through with!

I like college basketball, watching sports, dressing in jeans and a sweatshirt, playing video games, and general internet culture. But I also like the idea of being a stay at home mom sometimes, dressing up in dresses, having a bedroom that’s mostly pink, baking (only if there’s a dishwasher involved. I hate dishes!) and things that are more traditionally girly.

Is this a problem?

Not really. Though sometimes they butt heads because I can’t wear a dress and be all comfy in lounge pants and a baggy t-shirt. And I most certainly can’t be a stay at home mom if I’m not sure if I want children. But all of these things are part of who I am. I don’t want to change that.

I used to be adamantly anti-girly anything. But I think that was because I was pushed to like girly things and was given some pushback at the time about being boy-ish.

Related: 5 Existential Crises You’ll Go Through Before You’re 30


Why It's Okay to Embrace Your Feminine Side When You've Always Been a Tomboy


There’s Nothing Wrong With It

There’s nothing wrong with liking typically feminine things, just as there’s nothing wrong with typically masculine things either. You should never feel guilty or shameful for liking something. 

If you like the idea of being a mother, or caring for your children, or just dressing up every day because you like to feel pretty, then do it. If you like running around in sports gear, going to bars to watch the latest match, or just don’t like things that are pink, that’s fine too.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. You shouldn’t have to conform to what someone else or society dictates if it’s not what you want.

If you want to be a career woman, you go get it. Want to be a stay at home mom or a homemaker? Make your house the envy of your neighbors. Not sure which path you want to go down? That’s fine too (and girl, I’m totally with you).

Related: 5 Things I Regret Doing in College



Anyone who’s gone through a significant change in style, looks, personality, etc. know what I’m saying here. People are going to be thrown a curve ball if you go from one end of things to another. And some people just don’t understand growth or don’t know how to respond other than teasing or making fun of you.

Prime example: I was on the phone with my parents at one point and mentioned something about a skirt (it was so long ago I don’t remember the specifics) and my father started acting like aliens were flying overhead in a stereotypical flying saucer, “Oh my god. Steph in a skirt!?”

My mother had to gently remind him I’m almost 30 and not a child anymore. 

Related: What to Do When You’re Overwhelmed with Life


Have you gone from being a tomboy to a more girly girl? What was your experience with that?


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This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. imane

    Hello, my parents forced me since childhood to wear like a girly girl . I got married with twi kids.. and now i saw myself a tomboy woman!! It was like ohh it’s me!! I was lying to myself all that time… yes i don’t like pink color even doing my nails and ext… people change yes. But maybe also people discover themselves more .

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