I’m a really giving person. If I care about someone, I’m more than willing to do a lot of things to help them out in any way I can. I try to make sure my relationships with others are the best they can be. But what about having a relationship with yourself?
We don’t normally think about that very much. I mean, how do you not have a relationship with yourself? But anyone who is lost in life, doesn’t know how to have healthy relationships in general, or is at a crossroads, may not know or have the best relationship with themselves. We’re so focused on others that we put ourselves last.
Learn More About Who You Are
You can’t have a relationship with yourself if you don’t know who you are, right? It’s like a relationship with anyone else, you have to get to know them before you can have anything meaningful.
Take some time out of your life to do some inward introspection. Figure out your core values, what your likes and dislikes are, what your goals are and how you plan to achieve them.
Feeling a bit lost? Check out How to Find Yourself During an Existential Crisis: Part 1 – Figure Out Your Personality
One way to give yourself the time to learn more about yourself is through meditation. I’ve never managed to master meditation myself, but from all I’ve read and been told, it’s a great way to free up your mind. And once you have that space, you can work on yourself.
If you can’t handle going straight to meditation on your own, there are plenty of guided mediation videos on YouTube.
My favorite way to both get out what’s clouding my mind, and figure out where to go from there is writing in a journal. I haven’t been keeping up with it as much as I’d like, but even the weekly entries have been helping.
Most of the time I start off with a reason for writing, but turns into a stream of consciousness after a while. That usually brings to light some of the issues I didn’t know I was dealing with.
Not sure how or where to start? Check out this article about guided journals
Treat Yourself Like You Would Others
I’m pretty sure most of us struggle with this. We tend to hold ourselves to higher standards than we would hold other people. But that’s not entirely fair to yourself! It’s going to take some conscious effort, but if you try to start treating yourself like you would another person, you will definitely see an improvement.
Every time you hear yourself say “gah, I’m so stupid!” think about whether you would call a friend stupid for doing/saying whatever it was. If the answer is no, then why are you doing it to yourself?
Related: How to Know When to “Let Go”
Make Time for Self Care
Self Care is super important to your physical and mental health as well as forming a healthy relationship with yourself. Giving yourself the time to make sure you’re running at 100% capacity is important.
When you’re having a down day, or even a bout of depression, making your physical and mental health a priority isn’t always what you gravitate towards. Having a good self care routine can help this by being something you’re used to doing on a daily basis.
Sometimes self care is making sure you’ve eaten, taken a shower, drank some water, or gone outside. Other times it can be doing a spa day, giving yourself a break, or going for a run.
Related: 12 Days of Christmas Self Care
In order to have a good relationship with yourself you’re going to have to work for it. It won’t come easy, but once you get the hang of it, it will be much easier to maintain.
Do you have a good relationship with yourself? Is this something you want to work on?
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