When most people think of femininity they think of pink and frills and fluffy things. They think of the “girls” section of the baby department, where everything is light and pink at every corner.
As someone who may not be into pink but wants to embrace your femininity, that’s not a great way to embrace that side of you. However, there are other ways to embrace being feminine and have a more “soft” personality that goes along with femininity.
I’m going to go through a few that I like that don’t involve wearing a pink dress.
How to Embrace Your Femininity Without Covering Yourself in Pink Frills
Everyone has their own view of femininity. Some view it as the polite housewife from the 50s, some see it as girl power. I view it as somewhere in the middle, though I’m always looking for new ways to explore being feminine and what that means. I was a tomboy for most of my childhood and adolescence so I’ve only gotten into my feminine side in recent years.
The biggest thing I want you to take away from this post is to be happy with who you are. That’s the most important thing you can do. Below are some things that can help you get there.
Confidence is a huge part of being feminine. If you’re not confident in your femininity, or any way you present yourself, then is that what you really want to be? I’m still looking for confidence in this area, so I’m not entirely an expert on this subject. But when I look at a lot of the women I look up to, they all are confident in who they are.
Being confident is a lot easier said than done. But some things that can help is wearing what you want to wear, regardless of what others think. Starting with that can be a huge confidence boost, especially if you get even just one compliment (I know that’s true for me!). Whenever I wear a dress because I felt like it, my coworkers are pleasantly surprised. They’re also surprised when I wear heels since I’m still a tomboy at heart.
There’s nothing worse than needing another person to feel complete. I don’t mean this to be a knock to relationships, mean it more on the codependency side of things. If you need to lean on someone else for everything, that’s not cool.
What is codependency? This article gives a great definition:
“However, when we always put the other first in our adult relationships, at the expense of our own health or well-being, we may be codependent.”
Usually combined with confidence, being independent will require you to do things by yourself and be by yourself. I fell into being independent pretty naturally, but that may not be the case for everyone.
If you find yourself depending on another person, take a look at that article I posted. It usually stems from some kind of insecurity, so you might need to sit back and think about what that insecurity is and how you can improve on that part of your life.
Don’t Judge Others
This is something that I’m working on myself. I know we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but it seems like that’s a left over bad habit from when I was younger and all my classmates did was judge people by their covers.
Judging people by what they look like, what they’re wearing, what they want to do in life, or anything else isn’t out place to do. The only exception is if someone is doing something to hurt themselves or others. They you can judge, and hopefully, help them help themselves.
This also applies to judging yourself. I know this is a lot harder to not do, since we all have that inner critic. There are times where judging ourselves can be a good thing, like when I started judging myself about my alcohol issue. But they are very uncommon occurrences.
Think about why you are judging either yourself or others. I find that my judgement usually comes from a place of jealousy, even if it’s just because they look really good in that outfit they’re wearing and I wish I could be confident enough to dress like that.
Every time you catch yourself judging someone, stop and think about why. This will help you understand the reasoning behind it, so you can improve on that, but also helps break up the habit.
Skin Care Routine
Something that screams feminine to me is having a good skin care routine and taking care of your skin. When I think of femininity I tend to think about flawless skin on a housewife back in the 50s. While this isn’t everyone’s view of things, it’s something that sticks out to me.
Making sure your skin is taken care of is a huge portion of embracing your feminine side. It doesn’t matter what your skin looks like, if you have acne, scarring, blemishes, or whatever else, if you are taking the time to nurture and care for your skin.
This also goes for your body as well. Making sure you’re using the right kind of body wash and scrubs can make the world of difference. As someone with eczema and very sensitive skin, my skin will definitely let me know if it likes or doesn’t like something I use.
Using the products is only the first step though. If you rush through things, then you’re not getting the benefits of it all. Take your time with your skin care. Massage in your face cleanser, add an extra five minutes to your shower so you can make sure you use that scrub effectively.
Healthy skin looks great and feels great. It also makes it so you might not even want to wear makeup!
Related: My Daily Daytime Skin Care Routine
Dress to Impress
While dressing to the nines every day isn’t something I recommend (unless you have a job that requires that kind of thing or you like it!) dressing in a way that makes you feel confident and attractive is something I recommend.
This requires knowing and finding clothes that fit your body and look good. Sometimes that requires you to experiment with styles and types of clothes you might not normally wear. I recently bought a pair of mustard joggers and a denim button up shirt at TJ Maxx. Something I wouldn’t have normally looked at (maybe the joggers. I like joggers) and they turned out to be a fantastic outfit!
If you don’t know what styles would look good on you, you can first figure out what your body type is. I like this video and this video about that. The next thing you can do is figure out how to dress your body type. I like this video about it.
If you dress with something you feel great in, you’re going to feel better about yourself. The most feminine thing you can do is be happy with who you are.
Take Time For Yourself
There is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself. In fact, it’s one of the best things you can do to keep your mental health at good levels. There are many ways you can take time for yourself. You can sit down and read a book, enjoy a nice cup of tea or coffee, meditate…
Do whatever it is you want to do when you have down time. Take the time for yourself. Don’t let anything else bother your for that amount of time you’ve designated. You only have one life and one body, so cherish that life and body. Do what it is you want and need to do to be happy.
A huge part of femininity is being polite, kind, and patient.
No one wants to lose their cool one someone else, but sometimes it happens. The best way to deal with this is to make sure your reactions aren’t overreactions. You can’t change what happens to you, but you can change how you react to it.
The best response to aggravating situations is to keep calm, be polite and patient. Not only does you keeping your composure make you look professional, if you haven’t been in a situation where someone is angry and trying to get you to escalate the situation and you just stand there with a smile, it will piss them off.
Like with taking time for yourself, being kind and polite is not a weakness. Some people see politeness as a flaw in a personality and try to take advantage of that. Don’t let them.
Watch Your Words
I’m terrible with this. Anyone who knows my in person knows I have a terrible mouth. It can be surprising to people because I look so small and petite, so having the mouth of a truck driver. I even got a mug to commemorate it.
I’m trying to change this because swear words have become part of my daily vocabulary which bleeds over into work. And while there are some people I can be candid with, there are others I can’t. I’ve gotten in trouble once because I accidentally swore at the wrong time, so I’ve been working on keeping swear words out of my vocabulary.
There are other ways to embrace your femininity that don’t involve covering yourself in pink frills, if you want another post about that let me know!