This may seem like a silly thing, that you might not know who you are, but it’s definitely a thing. I went through it. It’s sort of like an identity crisis. Usually prompted by one of the 5 Existential Crises You’ll Go Through Before You’re 30, I would just be lost. I wouldn’t know anything about myself. Add Impostor Syndrome to feeling lost, and you really have no idea what’s going on.
It can be hard to get out of that cycle of not knowing who you are, especially if you were brought up to be a certain way and that isn’t what you want. If you finally have the freedom to do anything, that freedom becomes the biggest problem in the world. You can literally choose from anything, and that’s a lot of options.
Here are a few basic questions to ask yourself if you don’t know who you are, or are feeling lost with yourself.
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Basic Questions to Ask Yourself When You Don’t Know Who You Are
I struggled with this for years. There were times when I couldn’t even answer questions as simple as “what do you like?” or “what are your hobbies?” or “What’s your favorite food?”.
I was so lost that I literally didn’t know what food I liked. How crazy is that? I didn’t know what I liked, disliked, who I was… nothing. It was bad.
I’m going to have you write down these questions and then you can answer them at your own time. The most important part is to continue questioning your answers until you feel satisfied.
Finding yourself is going to be a bit hard if you’re so lost you barely know who you are. But answering some of or all of these questions can definitely help. But these are only the beginning! There are far more questions you can ask yourself to get a further view of who you are. You can also keep asking yourself “why?” after every answer.
For example, I like blogging. Why do I like blogging? Well, because I like writing. Why do I like writing? Because I love telling stories and helping people.
What’s Your Name?
This is a simple question you should be able to answer, which will help keep your grounded for the rest of the time. This is something you can always go back to if you’re feeling lost. You know your name, or at the very least you know what you want to be called!
This may seem silly, but if you’re really truly as lost as I was, having this question will help with putting everything together at the end.
What’s your Favorite Color?
Again, this is something you should know. If you don’t, that’s okay! You can also have as many favorite colors as you want! Rainbow can be a color. Sparkles can be a color. Whatever it is you like, that’s you, and it’s something you know.
What Do you Like to Eat?
This isn’t your favorite foods question, that’s next, but this is going to be the list of things you like to eat. So go ahead, add that chocolate, or fried chicken, or that one dish your grandma used to make. Add them, do it. It’s all about finding the options for later on.
What is Your Favorite Food?
See, here it is, the biggest question so far. What is your all time favorite food? What good gets you excited to eat? You already made a list of things you like to eat, so naturally your favorite would be there, right? If it’s not, go back and add it!
What Do You Like to Do For Fun?
This is the question that always tripped me up. My most common response was “I don’t know”. So if you’re like me, you really didn’t do much. The first place to start is, what do you currently do now in your free time? Start there.
If all you’re doing is sleeping or laying in bed, you might want to consider talking to a doctor or other medical professional about it. A lot of the time when I was lost was when my depression was pretty bad. It drained me of the energy to do anything else. It also made it so doing anything but laying in bed seem so antagonizing that all I could do was slip into my pjs and just watch YouTube on my phone.
Related: Adding Medication to your Depression Care is NOT a Bad Thing
What Would You Like to Do For Fun?
This is a different question than the previous one because these are the things you want to do but currently aren’t doing. For me it would have been reading. I want to read more but I’m still terrible at it. By that I mean my brain has been so accustomed to multitasking that just reading is a hard to do now. I know, it’s terrible, but I’m at a point where I want to take in as much as I can.
So what are some things you want to do but aren’t? What would you like to add to your hobbies or something you do in your free time?
Related: How Recreating Myself in the Sims Made Me Realize I’m Boring
What Do You Like?
This is all of those interests you have. All of them. The music you listen to, the things you want online or on TV, the things you read, and everything else you consume as entertainment.
You can even break this down into various entertainment categories like books, movies, tv shows, YouTube channels, music artists, etc. Then you can choose a few for each of those.
Related: How Instant Gratification and Constant Media has Affected My Life
What Don’t You Like?
If you can’t figure out what you like, try to figure out what you don’t like. It’s a lot easier to figure out what you don’t like because there’s usually a reason. I personally don’t like reality TV shows, so I know for a fact that I shouldn’t like reality TV shows. That’s one less thing to go through on my list if I’m trying to figure out my likes.
You can do this for any of the other questions. If you can’t figure out what you do like, start with the things you don’t like and use process of elimination if you have to.
- What’s Your Name?
- What’s your favorite color?
- What do you like to eat?
- What is your favorite food?
- What do you like to do for fun?
- What would you like to do for fun?
- What do you like?
- What don’t you like?
I hope these questions and this post can be helpful for you. If it is, definitely let me know in the comments below!
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