The statement is contradictory, as you can’t be a “wife” without a partner, and if you’re single then… well, you don’t have one. But if you want to be a housewife or homemaker, you can’t just wait until your Prince or Princess Charming roles around to get yourself started on your journey.
The job of a housewife or homemaker is the more traditionally female role, and that’s totally okay! Millennial women actually want to have more traditional gender roles, which I wrote about in my What If I Want to Be a Housewife? post.
You can’t wait around to get your skills and homemaking muscles strong until you’re actually the wife (or husband, house husbands are definitely a thing!) so get your self ready now so you can go through your stumbles now and not when you’re trying to deal with a fresh new marriage.
How does one become a bad ass single housewife? Well, you’ll have to keep reading.
If you like this post or know someone who might like this post, please give it a share! Shares, comments, and likes are what keep this blog running! Thank you! <3
How to Be a Bad Ass Single Housewife
Being a single housewife is going to be tough, I’m not going to lie. You’re going to be building up the skills you want to bring to your marriage and your family all while (most likely) balancing a job, a social life, and hobbies.
Personally, I think being a single housewife is just bad ass in itself. You’ve decided that this really is what you want and if you didn’t happen to grow up in a family with traditional gender roles, or maybe your mother wasn’t the best role model for this sort of thing, it’s going to be even harder because you’re going to have to learn a lot of things from scratch.
Understand There’s Nothing Wrong With Wanting This
No matter what anyone else tells you, if this truly is what you want to do, do it. If you want to be the wife that has dinner ready on the table when your husband comes home from work, or the wife that does all the domestic work, or the one that does baking every Sunday, girl, you do you.
There’s a huge push to get more women in the working world, and that’s great! It really is. Dual income households are almost always better off than single income households. And some women are just wired to work. But on the flip side, some women are wired to be part of that traditional gendered role. There’s nothing wrong with it! Not everything is going to be for everyone and that’s completely okay.
You will most likely run in to some friends or family who disagree with your choice, and you’re going to want to be prepared with responses. Of course, you can always just shut down the conversation or leave it outright if they get too much to handle. Here are a few things you can say to the nosy Nancy’s who disagree
- “This is what makes me happy!”
- “Why do you want me to put myself through something I don’t like just because you don’t like it?”
- “I didn’t know what I did with my life bothered you so much.”
- “Why does what I do make you so mad/uncomfortable/etc?”
What you do with your life affects no one else besides yourself and your partner. If both of you are on board for this kind of situation, then fantastic! However, if there are reasons you need to be in the working world, don’t sweat it. Try to find a job that suits you best, or at least one where you don’t want to rip your hair out.
My current job isn’t my favorite thing to do, but the people I work with make it much more fun and easier to get through the day. Sometimes I’ll have dull moments, and sometimes I wish I could be at home cleaning up and tidying up my apartment, but I can’t do that just yet. Maybe if this blog ever starts making an income I’ll consider quitting my job to blog full time.
You’re a single housewife, and you should be proud, damnit! Be confident in yourself, your skills, and who you are.
I know this is a lot easier said than done.
I want to be the best person I can be, and I know that these skills and wanting to be a housewife are part of that.
Don’t let anyone else’s words get to you. If this really is what you want to do with your life, then you shouldn’t be ashamed of it. Rock that bad ass of yours! (even if it’s only to the grocery store and back)
Learn Your Basics
If you grew up in a house where learning things like cooking, baking, cleaning, organization, or decorating weren’t something that really flourished, you’re going to have to learn for yourself. That’s okay. It also works out better in my opinion because you get to learn and experience all these things for your self and not have any outside influence in them. You will have to put your own style on things.
I think everyone should have a signature dish that they know how to prepare, from scratch, that tastes great and they can whip up for special occasions. Even for guys and those who aren’t housewife material. If you want to impress a future partner, or potential in laws, have a dish you can bring to a potluck, or just have a good meal you can make yourself when you’re having a bad day, learning at least one dish is the way to go.
I don’t have this yet as right now I’m still learning my way around the kitchen. It’s also a lot easier and makes more sense for me to batch cook things in the slow cooker and freeze them for lunch throughout the coming week.
If you’re the type of person who wants to make a meal from scratch every day, then you do you and find that signature dish! There are thousands of food blogs online, not to mention places like BBC Good Food, and the Food Network sites that have hundreds to thousands of recipes waiting for you.
To go along with cooking, having a dessert you know how to make is also a great thing to have.
At least in my office, every once in a while someone will bring in left over goodies from some kind of gathering or party they had over the weekend. I’m always jealous of these people because I don’t really know how to bake from scratch. All of the baking in my childhood and for most of my life was entirely from a box. It’s so much easier to just throw some eggs and oil in with a box mix than it is getting all the ingredients you need together.
I had planned on trying to use the Christmas break time to bake some things and figure it out for myself, but I never got around to it.
You know, there really can be an art to cleaning?
When I did a deep clean of the kitchen when my roommates went home for Thanksgiving, one of them was completely blown away with how clean the kitchen was. If I could, I would have it cleaned and cleared up on a daily basis. But then again, I barely use the kitchen due to my batch cooking in a slow cooker. The most I have to do is chop up some veg and that’s really easy to clean up, especially with a dish washer.
For cleaning, if you’re just starting out, you’re going to have to figure out what types of products you like, which ones work for you, and build up your arsenal of cleaning products. I tend to be drawn more to harsher products that I know are going to actually clean. I have a mold allergy, so I get nervous about things like the bathroom getting moldy and me getting sick from it.
I’m still skeptical about some of the more “green” products, but if you have any that you love and want to share, let me know in the comments below!
This is a skill I feel people either have or they don’t. Some people also have a “messy but I know where everything is” kind of organization.
I have a love-hate relationship with organization because I love the look of minimal and cleared off counter tops, but I know it’s unrealistic if you’re actually living in a space. My form of compromise is baskets!
I loooove organizing with baskets! I would use them for everything if I could! They’re a great way to corral free floating things and put them together while also not looking as bad as having a bunch of containers all over the place.
Some people like shelves, some people prefer boxes and hidden storage, it’s going to be up to you to figure out what kind of organization is for you and work from there.
I’m going to be honest here, decorating was never something we did when I was younger. The most we’d do is decorate a Christmas tree by our front window, but there was never any real decorations around. My parents are from a more knick-knack, hoarding generation where they have a lot of little things all over the place, and it’s a lot harder to decorate if you have so much stuff in the way!
If there is such a thing as decoration blogs, please send some my way! I’m always open to finding new and interesting people to follow and read.
- Being a single housewife is badass. Don’t let anyone else tell you different.
- Shut down the nosy Nancy’s and those who disagree with your lifestyle choices with appropriate come backs. Choose your level of passive aggressive.
- Be confident. You want this, so own it! Rock your bad self no matter where you go.
- Learn your basics
- Find one good dish to have in your pocket
- Find a dessert to go with said dish
- Learn the art of cleaning. Find your perfect cleaning products
- Figure out how to organize in your life/home
- Learn to decorate. Find your style