Right now I’m dealing with the ever-looming grey cloud that is unemployment. I’ve been unemployed since April and I’ve been applying to every job I come across that fits my skills. I’ve even applied to some that don’t.
I’ve tried to get my etsy shop going a bit more with digital prints along side my Finding Yourself 101 course and workbook. I have my ebook about depression out on Amazon, but that’s only sold 3 copies, which I’m incredibly grateful for.4
But time is running out. The extra $600 that unemployment is giving us disenfranchised by COVID is about to run out as I write this. It’s the only thing keeping me afloat.
I have to pay for medical insurance this time around. Last time I was unemployed I was still covered under my parents’ insurance. That’s $400 a month. I have to pay my rent, which is $650 a month. And there’s a medication I take that helps me digest food that’s $400 a month as well. I’ve been taking that sparingly because I can’t afford that plus the rest of my medication. Oh, and I have monthly allergy shots, bi-monthly therapy, and every 2-3 months a psychiatrist appointment.
My family is helping me out the best they can, mostly by helping me with food and paying my monthly storage unit bill. I can’t fit those items in my current apartment but I don’t want to throw out perfectly good things simply because they don’t fit.
The only extra bill I’m paying monthly is my gym membership. I refuse to give that up.
As someone with depression, and who’s gained the quarantine 30, I need this gym membership to help me exercise out of depression and lose all the weight that I’ve gained by sitting in my room on my computer, snacking all day. I view it as a lifeline, not an extra.
I’ve reached the point where I’ve applied to every job I can, but barely getting any bites. The world is still in the middle of a pandemic and my state governor thinks the extra unemployment money will incentivize people from finding jobs. I get that some people will definitely take advantage of that. I know there were articles floating around about that happening, but right now I think more people need the assistance than those who want to take advantage of the system.
I’m currently in the middle of a panic attack because I don’t know what I’m going to do if the extra money is taken away and there’s no kind of stimulus to help out. My savings isn’t that great and I won’t last that long with at the minimum of 1,080 a month for outgoing finances.
I don’t really know what the point of this blog post is. I think it’s the beginning of a cry for help. I’m terrible at asking for help, and I don’t want to set up a GoFundMe until it’s absolutely necessary. Everyone out there is struggling right now. What makes my situation any different than theirs?
I’ve been drinking coffee more lately. I have my friends A and R to thank for that. I helped them move and had coffee in the morning. I needed to get a coffee maker after that. The coffee has helped me from sleeping all day due to my depression. Now I’m caffeinated, and panicking instead of sleeping and panicking.
I’m running out of ideas on what to do. I’m trying my damndest to promote all of the products in an attempt to get some sort of side income, but it’s leading me nowhere.
Because of the depression I haven’t been writing that much because I can’t think of anything outside of my current and most pressing situation. I hope that can change soon.
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