This is What Anxiety Looks Like

This is What Anxiety Looks Like

This is what anxiety looks like. In this post I show you what anxiety really is and how it can ruin your life in an instant. Click here. #anxiety #thisiswhatanxietylookslike #anxious #panicattack #mentalbreakdown

This is what anxiety looks like.

Anxiety is no joke. A lot of people tend to write it off as others just worrying too much about things, but it’s really more than that.

Anxiety can consume you. It can eat you alive. It can make you think things that aren’t true. It weaves itself through your mind to cause so many more problems than there really are.

I’ve been dealing with anxiety for most of my life. My parents have it and I expect it’s partially hereditary, partially my childhood.

Anxiety can make you go from a relatively normal day to thinking that everyone hates you and you’re not worth a cent.

This is what anxiety looks like.


 

To give you the best insight into what anxiety can do to a person, let me bring you into my life for a moment.

I’ve having some issues with a friend of mine. In reality, I think of them more than a friend but they’re dealing with some personal issues right now that means they’re not comfortable starting any sort of relationship. It sucks, but it is what it is.

It doesn’t help that we had something going on before all this, but that’s another issue.

Anyway, most of the time I can understand that he’s busy, that he has his own life, and that he’s essentially going through his own existential crisis. But then there are days the anxiety creeps in.

 

 

It Starts Out Simple

It starts out pretty simple with some general concerns:

“Is he okay? I haven’t heard from him in days.” to “I really wish he would get back to me it’s been a week”

The longer he doesn’t answer the more my anxiety starts to spike.

“He probably doesn’t want to talk to me” to “He probably doesn’t want to talk to me because I’m annoying him.”

Then things start to spiral

“He probably doesn’t even like me anymore” to “He definitely doesn’t like me anymore”

And spiral

“All I’ve been doing is bothering him. I should leave him alone” to “I’m such a needy person, why would he want to talk to me?”

And spiral

“He has to hate me at this point. He hasn’t responded it such a long time” to “God, I’m just too much of a person. He’ll never want to talk to me”

I think you get the idea. This is what anxiety looks like.

 

If the anxiety gets bad enough it can turn into a panic attack or mental breakdown.

One of my last panic attacks did lead to an eventual breakdown where I ended up messaging one of his family members to make sure he was okay. Turns out he missed a lot of work due to being sick (thankfully not Covid!) and was doing so much overtime all he did was go to work, come home, and go to sleep.

 

 

Makes You Think the Worst

The main thing that anxiety can do is make you think the worst of a situation.

Someone not talking to me for a few weeks because they’re super busy turns into me thinking they hate me and don’t want me in their life. Though, I know that some people would probably think the same if they were in my shoes. People who suck at replying to messages really don’t mix with people with anxiety.

But, the anxiety takes things to another level.

The other night it had me thinking I was far too much of a person for anyone to want, especially this guy.

It had me thinking that all the progress I had made wasn’t worth it because who would want someone like me who panics all the time?

I’m the type of person who needs constant contact with my friends and relationships. Even with my anxiety meds I’m always afraid something might happen to them.

When I first started talking to my friend he knew at least 3 people who had gotten into car accidents in the span of a few months.

Every time he didn’t answer I was convinced he was in a car accident. It just seemed like the logical reason at the time.

Turns out it was always more mundane things like leaving his phone at home, falling asleep, or his phone died.

This is what anxiety looks like.

This is what anxiety looks like. In this post I show you what anxiety really is and how it can ruin your life in an instant. Click here. #anxiety #thisiswhatanxietylookslike #anxious #panicattack #mentalbreakdown

 

It Enrages You

This is the worst of the anxiety side effects.

After you get through all the thoughts that you’re worthless and no one is going to want to talk to you, you start to get angry.

You start to get bitter and you want to make them feel the same way they made you feel. Regardless of how intentional all of this was.

This may not be everyone, however. A lot of people stop at the insane worrying and don’t go on to the bitterness and anger.

It makes you think terrible things you know you shouldn’t say. It makes you want to hurt that other person just so they know how hurt you’ve felt this whole time.

Except there’s a problem here.

A lot of, if not all of, those feelings you had were due to the anxiety, not the person. What you felt was due to your brain making you think you are worthless and that they don’t care about you.

If you retaliate with all that hate, you’re essentially attacking someone who is innocent in all of this.

There’s also the problem of retaliation is not the best thing to do in the first place. It just makes you stew in the bitterness and anger and makes you a hateful person.

Don’t do it. Don’t give in.

This is what anxiety looks like.

 

 

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This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. James Harding

    Thanks for sharing. Anxiety is truly horrible and I don’t think people realise how dibiliatating it is unless they have experienced it.

    Best wishes

  2. AskAmna

    This cycle is so familiar to me. I *know* I’m spiralling I know I’m being paranoid, but the thoughts feel so real. It can be so exhausting when you think like this for everything: friendships, spouses, family, work. I’m much better now thanks to years of therapy and medication but the thoughts are still there.

    1. shortstuffblog

      I know, right? I hate the spiraling. Therapy has been helping but it still can get the better of me.

  3. Wonderful post and very transparent on what anxiety is really about. It’s more than worry and it’s more than fear. You point all the raw emotions that comes with it which can make it tough for a person to cope on their own.

    Thanks for sharing.

  4. Shaye

    Thank you so much for this, I’ve felt this way so frequently and your experience with your friend hits incredibly close to home right now. I appreciate the normalization for myself, and empathize with your situation.

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