This is going to be an update and a ramble about how I’m feeling right now. If this isn’t something you’re interested in, then I’m sorry, this isn’t for you. Eventually I’ll be able to get back to posting regularly but right now I just can’t.
Both physically from my job and mentally from what’s been going on in the world.
My job is exhausting to me. I don’t like talking to people as an introvert, since it drains my energy and I have to be the happy, graceful HR representative to many people throughout my day and it really, really, sucks my energy out.
That’s understandable to many people, as they too, have had jobs that just tire them out for various reasons.
I’ve been looking for a new one and have a few options opening up for me. I have high hopes something good comes my way.
As for the mental exhaustion, I’m just tired of the atmosphere online.
It doesn’t really matter which internet sphere you’re in, politics have entered the realm and are becoming talking points.
I cover D1 basketball and the amount of US politics that’s entered the basketball sphere is absolutely astounding to me.
There’s a main view on social media. If you don’t agree or have issues with anything the main views, then you’re labeled as a traitor, as a terrible person, and that you deserve to not have a job or be blacklisted from everything.
That’s incredibly toxic. I don’t care what side of the political spectrum you’re on.
This is what’s exhausting. I’m afraid to voice my opinion for fear of being run off the internet because I don’t believe the same as the loud minority. I’m afraid that just because I really don’t believe exactly the same as others, and that I think everything should be viewed through a critical lens.
I’m exhausted because I just want to live my life.
I don’t want to be part of a hate mob, or an activist, but I feel like because of how everything is going, you have to, it seems.
Like, people were calling for the firing of someone on twitter because they followed Parler, an alt tech site that people who have been banned or don’t like the censorship of Twitter have moved to.
Yes, there are going to be extremists on that site. They’re everywhere.
But because someone just followed the twitter account for Parler people we advocating this person lose their job.
Let me say that again,
JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE FOLLOWED A TWITTER ACCOUNT, PEOPLE WERE ADVOCATING THEY NO LONGER HAVE THE ABILITY TO MAKE MONEY.
How is this acceptable?
It’s literally just a twitter account.
Maybe they want to see what people are talking about, maybe they’re interested to see where this new platform goes. There could be tons of reasons someone follows a twitter account.
If you’re like me, you want to follow all sorts of people to see all sorts of views so you’re not in an echo chamber.
I’m not overly political. I agree with Democrats on some things and Republicans on some things, but I also disagree with Democrats and Republicans on a lot of stuff. But it’s becoming a lot more common for me to just silence myself because I agree with a Republican view that I would if I agreed with a Democratic view.
I’m watching as the world is becoming engulfed with hate. We’re separating into two clearly different factions and those of us in the middle are getting thrown around on both ends for not being completely with either side.
I honestly can’t take it anymore.
I’m mentally exhausted from people criticizing one side but letting things slide for their own side. I’m tired of being beaten over the head with the idea that “silence is violence” because I just want to live my life the best way I can. I just want to move to the middle of no where right now and embrace solitude, it’s getting so bad.
I’m mentally exhausted from the constant fighting, infighting, the blaming, the corruption, the everything. I’m tired of being told I’m “X” because I do/don’t believe “Y”. Human’s aren’t that simple and life is complex and complicated.
I don’t like to talk about much outside of what this blog is meant to be, but right now I’m just exhausted and can’t take it any more. I will be taking a leave of absence from here to get myself back on track, and might even take a break from social media outside of what is required of me for certain things.
However, since politics is merging into the worlds I’m already trying to deal with, I might just have to go radio silent for a while to get away from the hate.
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