Sometimes you might just find yourself in love with someone that isn’t right for you. Or maybe the time is wrong.
It’s going to hurt. You’re going to be crushed. And you’re definitely going to try to lie to yourself. But sometimes you just have to let people go.
I hate to let you go, but I have to for my own sanity
I’m going to miss our late night texts, the way you used to call me pet names, and mot importantly of all, your smile.
I’m going to miss a lot about you, but right now, this isn’t the right time.
Maybe the more I type it out and read it I’ll believe it.
But I know that we aren’t meant to be. At least not right now. Right now is the biggest clusterfuck of a mess of life that could have happened.
I have to let you go because if I don’t I’m going to keep worrying about you. I’m going to keep thinking about how your mental health hasn’t been the best and how I just want to be there by your side while you get back on your feet again.
I want to nurse you back to health because I know you’re not back to normal after your bout of being sick. I want to be there for you in every way possible, but I know you don’t want me to and you can’t do the same for me.
It hurts so much. It hurts just to think about you, never mind think about letting you go.
But I have to. For my own sanity, I have to.
I can’t keep going on being enamored by you while you get your life together. Who knows how long that will be. And who knows if you’ll want to start something once you get there.
I need to focus on myself now. I have this blog and I really think there could be something with it this time. I have my ebook published, I have an etsy store now, and I’m attempting to sell t-shirts. I really think I can make something of this.
I can’t keep trying to help you through life while I’m struggling to keep myself together. My unemployment has really hit me hard and the fact that not many places are hiring is really taking a tole on me. I don’t like that I’m on unemployment, even though right now I’m making more than I did while working due to the COVID extras added to it. But I hate it.
While I want nothing more than to nurture you back to being yourself again, I just can’t. Not any more.
I’ve already unfriended you on Facebook and Instagram, I deleted you from my Snapchat, and I’m trying my damndest to stop messaging you cute motivational pictures. Because I’ve been in the spot you’re in right now. I’ve been that low, that depression hole, and it’s so hard to break out of. I want you to know I’m always going to be here for you, but I just can’t do it anymore.
I still love you and I think that’s what’s holding me back. I don’t want to lose that love, but I have to take that risk right now.
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